“It’s Holiday time again! Oh boy, how we love the good times”, said a bit facetiously!
No doubt Holiday times can be stressful.
It’s the high and lows that can trigger our emotions, every time. This holiday season may be even more trying, given the current shifts and changes that are happening around the Globe. We all know what happens when someone brings up the topic of Politics.
How will we ever be able to reduce holiday stress?
So many individuals don’t truly know what is going on. They are asleep and unaware of the inner and outer goings on of this amazing shift in consciousness that we are experiencing.
For those of us who do know, it’s almost as if our loved one’s trail behind compared to us who are forging ahead, learning and growing with everything that has to do with the shifts.
Even though we may know a little more than the next guy, we also know how to elevate our vibration no matter how difficult the situation may be. We also know it’s not easy to maintain.
The language currently being used to describe the different vibrations is either a 3rd dimension/human mindset or a 4th dimension/Spirit mindset. Of course, we are human, and we make mistakes, so 3d makes sense. Given a little thought, we can admit how poorly behaved humans can act.
The 4th dimension (4d) Spiritual level would be a step up. A higher power thinking individual. They draw from their Spirit’s wisdom and knowledge. There is a sense that a 4d mindset would not engage in the drama that is around them… even family drama.
We have all witnessed the pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other, with behaviors ranging from not so great (3d) to very great (4d)!
Even our own behaviors fall in the various ranges too!
Of course, the intention is to have a good time and truly enjoy each other’s company, reminiscing about the good old days, storytelling and listening to the funny and not so funny jokes, which makes the moment even funnier. And the food, we can hardly wait to partake in the family favorite recipes saved for these special occasions.
It’s not as often as it used to be that many of us can re-arrange our hectic schedules for the different family events throughout the year.
Initially, get togethers start off all very well and good. And
then… bam, the kibosh! A little tension begins, followed by loud or angry
conversations can be heard with an odd type of energy in the air that you can
cut with a knife.
“What happened?” and “Not again!”, you may exclaim. There is no escaping it… it’s just the way most families are!
How will we enjoy sharing, communicating, partaking, laughing, giving to our family and friends while trying to survive those moments when the energy turns sour?
So, how do I relax during a family holiday completely?
No worries, there are always solutions especially for those of
us who have been 4d hunters for some time now.
Taking a quick gander on the internet, there is so much information to help us through trying family times.
Several sources will encourage a combination of the following steps. For us, the serious 4d seeker, it’s not enough to just read the steps, we want to understand on a deeper level for an in-depth understanding. It is these in-depth studies that help us to retain the information, not just a quick glance at the material only to be forgotten.
Let’s dig a bit deeper on the following strategies to enjoy your family holiday:
- Promise yourself you will honor your typical day-to-day routine. Sleep, eating and exercise habits stand out. Don’t give of yourself to point of personal neglect especially if you are traveling.
We all have had those experiences where our body’s time clock is off kilter due to jet lag or extended hours driving. This is especially true if we are trying to cram in valuable family time in short time slots. It’s rare that we can devote 5-7-day visits, it’s more like 2-3-days. Some of us are lucky to get a full day.
- Don’t expect a “Hollywood” movie pie in the sky perfect family.
Here is another opportunity that reminds us that we are here experiencing life and life lessons. Rare to none are families actually living the perfect Hollywood movie lifestyle.
Admittedly, we live lives of dysfunctions, it’s what we are here for. Overcoming the life lessons. Some things never change.
How do you deal with difficult family during the holidays?
- You know your family; you know what to expect from each member. Think about it, there’s really no surprises. The sick will share recent doctor visits, or hospital visits. The cut-up will cut-up. The complainer will complain. The whiner will whine. The below-the-belt joker will use jokes to be hurtful. The bully will bully. The over-doer will over do. The enabler will enable. Then there is the mean Spirited or passive aggressive behaviors.
Holiday times can be trying times and tend to draw out the worse in us. With the best of intentions, many families start off on the right foot with hugs, smiles, laughter and good will. Given the various personalities, different expectations and different energy vibrations, it’s not long before feelings of being on a roller coaster ensues.
Truly a perfect time to use this opportunity as a training ground and practice 4d. But we don’t visit each other simply for training. Regardless of the challenges, we can have a good time and enjoy each other’s company while celebrating.
- Don’t expect anyone to have changed, since the last time you saw each other. BUT then again, there is a shift in consciousness going on. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that maybe one family member you haven’t seen in a while, might be ‘woke’. Marvelously you have a cohort to share wisdom, knowledge, coincidences, fears and miracles with.
Now, there is a wee little caveat to be aware of. Be sure to have your ‘theory’ chats without the sense of showing off. Side glances and looks over your shoulder to see if anyone is noticing there are now at least two of you, (kooks), who understand the shifts and changes going on throughout the World.
This would be a 3d reaction and has a sense of bragging or being ‘better’ than the others. Beware of inside jokes and innuendos leaving others out of the loop with your newfound inner circle.
This won’t win over any converts. As a matter of fact, they may be thinking that YOU haven’t changed and now there are two ‘kooks!
More ways to reduce holiday stress…
- Remember to say “No” when necessary. Saying ‘No’ is not easy to do. After all, you’re visiting for such a short time frame. Why would you want to cause problems or be a bother? You justify in your mind to just go along with the status quo.
Interesting enough that is how dysfunctions happen. Allowing situations to be off kilter, settling and not speaking up, which can be a high price to pay. We’ve all done that too many times.
If you are going to speak up, there is a wee little caveat to be aware on how you say ‘NO!’. There is no reason to say “No” meanly, as an irritated reaction to being triggered. A straightforward ‘No thank you.’ Or ‘Not right now.’ Or ‘Let me think about that.’ Or ‘I’ll let you know.’ work very well. Try it!
More times than not, even a simple shake of the head indicating ‘No’ is a great form of communication too!
- Stay in the moment, don’t dwell or bring up the past. This is not the time. Save ‘healing’ for another time. If you find yourself caught up in a quagmire of anger and bickering back and forth, quickly take inventory of your own ego. Notice if you are stressing, strung out, agitated? We all want to be heard and validated. Worse is when we want to have the last word!
Bring your attention back into the room. Notice who is doing what? Join them. Who’s outside? Join them. Who’s in the kitchen, the hub of any gathering, join them. Most likely there is plenty of activity going on for you to mingle with and not get hung up in one group.
- Dare to discover the best and leave the rest. Can we actually have ‘fun’ in a dys’fun’ctional environment?
Be aware of the evidence you are collecting. Certainly, you can confirm; the whiner is whining, the complainer is complaining, the bully is bullying. As creatures of habit, it’s not often that someone’s character would change for the better.
Beware of collecting evidence on what is wrong with the family or particular family members. Seek out only the good in each other, even if the not so good outweighs the good, again!
Seeking good begets good. Seeking the not so good begets the not so good, regardless of how right you are in your discernment of the situation.
- Know what your limits are. What you are willing to do and not willing to do. Of course, you want to be helpful, cordial and certainly you don’t want to be a doormat and be taken advantage of.
Women are such good care givers. Givers being the operative word here. Sometimes we need to be cared for, before we get overly taxed by freely giving of our time, energy and talent.
Stay busy and engaged. If you’re just hanging around, someone will certainly grab a hold of you asking for assistance, they already know you’re are good at ‘it’! Staying truly busy, engaged and curious about another family member doesn’t make much room for eye contact of someone seeking assistance.
Oh, don’t forget to ask someone to bring you a drink, since they are going in that direction anyway. Get spoiled, you deserve it!
For the gentlemanly guys, beware of also giving too much of your time, energy and talent. It’s nice to be the knight in shining armor, but not if it takes away from your social engagement and interests. There is time for a little of both! Find the balance.
- Stay in the awe of it all. Keep your vibrations up and maintain the Holiday Spirit. Observe the children in magical delight, like you use to have. Play with the children, have them teach you something. Go for a walk with someone. Strike up a conversation with one of your family members you have steered away from for years. You will be surprised by their life’s journey. You will be surprised how they could teach you something.
Without being caught up as a ‘doer’, ask how you can help with preparations. Maintain the fireplace, enjoy the fire, entertain the children, oversee the drink station or service the buffet table.
Whether the family is large or small, there is always something to do to make sure everyone has a pleasant visit. Now that you know where your limits are, you will also leave with newfound fond memories to last you till your next visit.
- Be the designated family photographer. Even mobile phones today can capture some great candid photos or videos, use yours. Most everyone loves to be the subject of a photo shoot. Set up poses, create a little play performance or stage a sing along and get it all on video.
- Have no expectations. Just because we have had certain life experiences does not mean you will have the same experiences all over again. Actually, when you feel something beginning to bubble up emotionally, take the chance to heal it… by yourself.
The best way to do that is to take nothing personally. Come prepared with an opposite reaction instead of your typical over-reaction.
Together with your 3rd self and your 4th self, come up with a good idea or strategy to counter any possible mishaps. Dream up a few scenarios you think might come up so you can practice the good ideas, so it’s fresh and readily available. Keep it top of mind, just in case you need it.
- Take the high-brow approach, after all you know about the shift in consciousness. You know what is 3d and what is 4d. You have read, studied, sought out like-minded individuals or groups. You have a ‘bigger’ picture understanding of what is going on.
Most likely, you have more wisdom and knowledge than most of your family members. Act like it. Respond calmly, respond with wisdom, not as a know-it-all. Know when to lead and when to follow. Know when to leave and mingle with another group or person in another part of the house. Possibly, the wall flower, the young adults, the men’s group, the women’s group, the children.
With the same high-brow attitude, prepare yourself, have a self-talk or pep-talk with yourself. Be ready to apply these new evolved concepts with your family since something is bound to be exposed.
Most importantly, know they don’t know what you know. Believe they don’t know better. Most families are good people, they just don’t think for themselves; they just follow along cuz they don’t know. Many don’t apply common sense or connect the dots very well… cuz they don’t know. Some don’t know there is anything to connect to or wake-up to.
Simply said, they just don’t know.
If there is an opportunity to share what you do know, start slowly, methodically, baby steps.
Watch for the big yawn… you just lost them. Forgo needing to be the topic of conversation. Turn the conversation around back to them, about them. We all want to talk about ourselves, let them.
Now, here is my prediction. Given the type of energy that you
hold around your family, your acceptance, your non-judgmental attitude, you
smile, your approach… The conversation will turn toward you.
Someone will ask how or what you think about the topic at hand. Given how heated the ‘debate’, consider simply saying: “There’s more to it than that.”
You may need to leave it at that or discern what your next step could be.
Don’t just dive in about the topic, most likely they aren’t ready to hear the ‘whole’ story. Start slowly, methodically, baby steps.
Watch for another big yawn… know that you just lost them, but you got further along then you were minutes ago.
Well, there you have it. Some excellent new tools for your toolbox. Shine them up and bring them along and don’t forget to use them.
Together with a little attitude adjustment and big smile be prepared for the best Holiday visit in a long time.